The last week or so has been very difficult for me. I have been off of antibiotics for almost a week, and I have to say its a very scary feeling. I guess it would not matter if I was on them since none of the pill form work for me any more.
I have been trying to work out a system for myself that will boost up my immune system and stop these infections. I am taking many supplements such as B complex, B 12, D 3, C, Folic acid, Calcium, Magnesium, Dhea, Cranberry tablets, Black Cohash, and several others that I cannot think of at this moment, plus probiotics. My immune system is shot and does not work, in fact the infectious disease specialist is pretty sure that it has shut down. He did say there was one pill I could take, but I looked it up and it seems it is a carcinogenic and turns to formaldehyde in your bladder which sounds super scary. I also take my regular meds to control pain which are Opana, Norco, Valium, Amitryptiline, and Soma, along with my synthroid for my thyroid. Can anyone say confusing? Its very confusing as to what to take and when but I do the best I can. I have no idea if its working or not, as I am not feeling any better.
I hate when I feel this way because it really is depressing and makes you feel hopeless. I mean come on !!!! I am taking everything I can think of to make my system stronger but I still just feel weak and no better. I know there are those that believe that vitamins can make all the difference and then there are those that feel that they make no difference at all. I am giving it my best shot and that is all I can do right now. I do feel like I have another infection, feeling the hot and cold sweats, the fatigue and just plain feeling bad. But I am trying all of this to see if it will take care of it instead of having to have iv antibiotics. I don't want to go in the hospital again, as it was way to scary, but it may be my only option, and my only option for ever, every infection I get. That is what is really scary. What do I do though? I have no other choice. What my hope is, is that all of these vitamins will kick in my immune system and make me stronger, although its pretty hard to avoid the infections as I have to use catheters 5 to 6 times a day now, Please let it give me energy and help my body fight like it used to before that disastrous surgery of January 09, which I deeply regret after finding out about the lies that led me there and also now here, where my life sucks.
Its strange too, because I was so worried about all the nerve and muscle pain at the beginning of when I was damaged (which is immense), and that is the least of my problems now. Now its all about just staying alive and having medications that can help me do that. I live with the knowledge that CES can take me out at any time it wants, and that is a fact. I learned that when I ended up in the hospital with sepsis.
I am also very saddened that I don't get to go see my new grand baby as often as I would like, but that is also my reality. When my first grand baby was born and home, I went to see her every day. In fact a couple weeks after she was home I was also able to go on vacation to Oahu and Kauai, and I remember my daughter calling me daily while there, begging me to come back and help her because she was so tired. I was busy exploring the islands, going on helicopter tours, swimming with dolphins and hiking. It is apparent that my daughter is getting the idea of what I am living with, as she does not even ask for my help now. I think that is to avoid the disappointment :( And that is what really hurts, the fact that even my daughter knows I am not the woman I was. The strong woman who was there for anyone who needed me at any time of day. No I am not her anymore and I have to come to terms with that.
I have also found that those doctor searches are worthless. I did one on the surgeon that did my surgery before I consented to it, that lied to me about test results, that destroyed my life and he came up clean. Since then I have learned there have been several to many lawsuits filed against him about similar outcomes as mine. You know what is amazing, its that our great government plays a part in that information not getting to you so you know. Yes, as long as the lawsuit never sees the light of day, that doctor will have a clean record, and you will never know that this has happened before and you were not the only one. So if you do a search on a doctor to make sure he is good before consenting to a surgery, keep in mind, as long as he does not go to court, it will never see the light of day. This really angers me. I wish I had known his past history, the real one as I would have never ever let him lay a hand on me, so remember this if you too think you are safe doing this. I thought I was.
I will never be safe in my own life again.
Have you consulted with some alternative doctors? Sometimes I don't believe in them myself, but I do have a friend that suffered from immune problems. Her system kept attacking her own body. She went to a lot of doctors and was near death when she finally found one that had her try some things to "jump start" her system. Things like ordering weird food that here body was not used to. Like lion meat. Seriously. She said her freezer looked like Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. It might be worth a shot BFF.
ReplyDeleteI have been thinking out side of the box taking many different herbs I have never even heard of that are supposed to work, but so far nothing is helping. I am also supposed to start accupuncture, but because I spend so much time at the docs, its been very hard to schedule. I am thinking I am going to go ahead with the surgery they are recommending and see if it helps. If not at least this one is reversible. They will be installing a port right below my belly button to empty things, instead of having to use catheters. I had told the doc about a month ago and two infections earlier that I did not think I was there yet, but now not only has the infectious disease doc recommended it but my urologist has as well. Its just getting really scary, and hubby even admitted the other night he was way too afraid of losing me. I have to say I have the same thoughts as well. Never thought I would be in this place making these kind of decisions, but here I am :) It really sucks but it is what it is, and I have to try. I did find this one plant that is supposed to act as a natural antibiotic, still looking into that and how to grow it.
ReplyDelete