Well dear blog, as you can see I have been neglecting you :(
There just has been so much going on lately and its really hard to keep up. I have been in and out of the hospital, have had really severe infections, such as an abscess the size of a baseball in my bladder due to my supra pubic catheter, although I did not feel it till I went septic. Been dealing with hopefully finallizing my legal battles because of this damage, and hope that someday someone can stop the doctor who creates this misery.
I am just trying to hang on by a thread, and trying to get my health back but its been very trying at times, and right now is one of them. I have had IV treatments for the 7 days of two different antibiotics and am hoping it is just being a delayed reaction that it does not feel as though they are working. If they dont and it comes down to the suprapubic catheter repeating the same staph again, I am not sure what options are left for me to control the infections.
It just seems to get more and more complicated, and I dont know what will become of me or how long I will last. I am in a very bad state mentally right now because of feeling so crappy, and I am hoping something will change for the better so that I can have some kind of hope.
For those that are considering tarlov surgery please please get several opinions and really think about what it can do to your life, as mine as I knew it has been destroyed and I know I cannot go back and it will not get better. That is my reality right now and its very hard to live with. So much so that I really cant think of anything to write because it would just all be bad and make you all reading this blog join my circle of pain and misery.
I really really hate that I was tricked into this decision of surgery and have wished thousands of times if only I could go back, but I cant and its what I have to live with now. Really take this seriously, its no joke, it can ruin you forever.
you do not know me but I somehow came across your blog. I see that you have not written for awhile. I am wondering how things are going for you right now. I have no words to help per day as I cannot even imagine the pain and feelings you go through every moment. I just wanted to let you know that I have been praying for you. I do believe in a God of miracles and a God a peace. I pray that He will grant you that.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your prayers. I have been trying different methods of dealing with all of this, but its not working that great, although I have accepted that my life is like this forever, and I can never change it (which I think is the hardest part) I have to be accepting of what has happened. I have been very stressed lately however, so I will be updating soon, as this is the place where I release what is held inside. So I promise an update soon on what is going on. I hope this blog is somehow helping you if you are going through something similar, that was my goal as well as having a place where no one knows me, where I can empty my soul from time to time xoxo
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